Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Introducing ADB+

We're happy to announce that we here at The Angry Drunk Bureaucrat are launching a new pay version of this site, with exclusive extra content and interactive features.

ADB+ will not replace The Angry Drunk Bureaucrat, which will continue to offer the same news, satire and random pictures of local politicians looking like drunken monkeys, as always. Instead, it allows subscribers access to a new stream of exclusive sarcasm, dramatic irony, metaphor, bathos, puns, parody and litotes.   Additionally, it will be 100% Cyril Wecht free.  

The new, revised site will provide content that will in no way be available elsewhere on the internet, and will automatically explode if copied, pasted, downloaded, embedded, or linked.

The annual membership fee is a bottle of Maker's Mark Bourbon, and monthly memberships are a bottle of Yuengling. For a limited time, those who sign up for an annual membership will receive a free copy of "George Washington Pooped Here: a multimedia, full sensory examination of Pittsburgh Regional Outhouses, Privies, and other Toilets," a DVD by our staff, a $19.95 value.

"ADB+ is a natural extension of our news, entertainment and information resources that the Burghosphere has come to depend on," said The Angry Drunk Bureaucrat Editor-in-Chief "O". "Plus we're going to have porn. Lots of porn."


spork_incident said...

Naw, naw, naw...unless you're gonna offer extra Jack Kelly I ain't interested.

I don't care how much sarcasm, dramatic irony, metaphor, bathos, puns, parody and litotes you offer YOU WON'T NAIL MY HEAD TO THE FLOOR!!11!

Unless I get extra Jack Kelly.



O said...

Jack Kelly porn, perhaps?

spork_incident said...

Jack Kelly porn, perhaps?

Wait...that's IT!

"[smoky sax music][smokey female voice] Jack Kelly teaches China Millman a thing or two about....eating...Mmmmmm...and David Shribman gets wild and explores international exotica...tonight, on Pee...Gee...Plus Late Night...."

Oh, eww, ick.

(But it would sell)


Sherry said...

yeah, it would sell.

rather buy your's than theirs! ; )

Anonymous said...

Might instill more confidence if you actually got the acronym right in the title. Or is that part of the charm?

O said...

Spelling mistakes are par for the course, Anonymous... although this one has been corrected.