OK, This Pissed Me Off...

From the P-G:

Pittsburgh's city code has no provision against using streets, sidewalks, parks, parking lots, stairwells and doorways as impromptu bathrooms, so city council today tentatively approved a proposed ordinance that would fill that gap...

The new city code plank would bar urination or defecation in any public place, or on private property without the owner's consent, except in sanitary facilities. The penalty for each violation would be $500.

Apparently, when you gotta go it'll cost you $500. Brings new meaning to the British slang "spend a penny."

But couple problems with this law:

Number one, how would the police know that you had relieved yourself and spilled IC Light on the streets, sidewalks, parks, parking lots, stairwells or doorways.

Number two, according to the wording of the article there are people that are defecating in public WITH the property owner's consent. Apparently, this is not a problem.

Third, come winter how am I going to write my name in the snow? Have I been doing kegel exercises for nothing?

Fourth, if I poop on the sidewalk that's a violation, but I challenge Bruce Krauss that if I poop in the City-County building, it's protected free speech.

Fifth, how will the cops know that I intentionally urinated in public, and didn't just accidentally lose bladder control from laughing at a comedic routine by Carrot Top?

Sixth, are the Pirates going to be punished for leaving a steamer floating on the North Shore this year? 'Cause, you know, they should be.

So, if you want to go take a piss or leave a shit anywhere in public, you better do it while you can.