Monday, September 07, 2009

Soy un Perdedor

If the weather had just cooperated and it had rained a little harder, the City of Pittsburgh could have been spared the ignominy of watching it's beloved Pirates slouch their way to the record breaking seventeenth straight losing season. Alas, it was not to be, and the literally dozens of Pirates fans were disappointed once again.

*heavy sigh*

To give you perspective since the last time the Pirates had a winning season: George Bush was president, the economy was in the crapper, and a new Democratic president was about to unveil an ambitious universal health care proposal.

My how things have changed.

There's only one last, desperate hope for the Pirates now*: becoming ironic.

The Pirates need to become the Pabst Blue Ribbon of Baseball -- the team that people root for because it's anti-establishment to root for. The team that you can look down on other fans and say "I don't buy your baseball snobbery, I'm just here to watch baseball" in the most conspicuous way possible. Like trucker caps and skinny jeans, the Pirates can be uncool enough to be cool. And maybe, if we get enough people to ironically root for the Pirates, even if they do spend the next 17 years sucking harder than an anteater with a vacuum, we won't mind.

'Cause, you know, we were rooting for them before it became cool to root for them.

*Well, I mean, outside of firing the owners, management, and trying to develop real talent, instead of selling it off for "players-to-be-named-later. Or even outside of everyone in Pittsburgh pooling their money and buying out the ownership and taking collective ownership like in Green Bay WI.


Anonymous said...

You've left out one possibility: if they had a winning season next year, it would be an amazing coincidence to be the record by just one.

As it stands, we can expect them to absolutely shatter the record.

NutellaonToast said...

I thought rooting for any baseball team was ironic.

Brad Fisher said...

Perhaps they will get a talent bailout from the government.

Anonymous said...

I wish people would leave the sports rants to those who actually follow the team and know what's going on. Love the blog but if you don't know what you're talking about, please just don't say anything.

If you're upset with past mgmt, that's fine. You have to realize, though, that for the last two years we have had mgmt that has developed an actual plan that has a good chance of working. Yes, it's going to take time. Yes, it's frustrating. But don't throw current mgmt in the same group of their predecessors.

Conservative Mountaineer said...

Anon 6:41...

Yeah, new management is working just as well as that "hopey, changey" thingy, isn't it?

O said...

A Plan? Custer had a plan, Anonymous.

Anonymous said...

At least Custer had a plan. Before Huntington and Coonley took over, the only mission management had was either to save money(Mark Sauer till Littlefield) or to somehow reach .500 by signing aged free agents to ridiculous amounts of money.

The current managements' plan, by the way, is the only thing they could do to right the ship. It's a plan that most that cover baseball or are involved with baseball agree with. They know this team is heading in the right direction.

What would you do if you put in charge of turning this horrible mess around? They stepped into an incredibly bad situation and are determined to turn it around.

That's something Pittsburgh hasn't seen in two decades.