Saturday, December 31, 2005

ADB's 2006 Resolutions

Here we go again... I've never been all that successful with my new years resolutions in years past. I resolved in 2004 not to let Bush be re-elected and 2005 I resolved not to let the Pope die. Maybe I should have reversed the two.

Anyway, that's Resolution #1:
Be more successful with 2006's resolutions. Yeah, that'll work.

Resolution #2:
File. 2005 was an exceptionally bad year for ADB's filing system, which has now devolved into random piles of paper interspersed with half-eaten donuts. That's not efficient, although I end up with some tasty reports. Mmmm... TPS.

Resolution #3:
Hit the gym. Ugh. I still maintain that I am in shape; "round" is a shape.

Resolution #4:
Save the City of Pittsburgh. OK, this is the really hard one. My only real hope here is that the City of Pittsburgh runs out into the street chasing a rubber ball into thte path of an oncoming bus and that I can push it out of the way.

Resolution #5:
Stop trying to intentionally run over people with my car. Really really hard.

Resolution #6:
Win back the House. No, not the House of Representatives! Don't be silly! There's no way I can do that single handedly!

I meant the Canadian House of Commons.

Resolution #7:
Yell more. Easy.

Resolution #8:
Try to live in peace and harmony with people of all races, nations, and creeds... even the fuckin' Swedes. I'm still pissed about the "incident" with the Hemnes wardrobe.

Resolution # 9:
365 posts next year. One a day... on average. Can't expect me to be witty, insightful, or intelligent every day. Sheesh! I work for the government people!

Resolution #10:
No pooftas!

Resolution #11:
There is no Resolution #11

Yeah... that'll work. Can't imagine anything else I might have forgotten. Nope. Nothing at all.

So, Happy New Year everyone! Let's hope this year will be better than the last. Seriously.

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