Christmas, Xmas, Holiday, Yule Chrismahannukwanzakah, New Year's present to my bureaucratic readers:
Rule #15: The longer you work in bureaucracy, the more Catch-22 resembles non-fiction.
The Optimist says: "The Glass is Half Full." The Pessimist says: "The Glass is Half Empty." The Bureaucrat says: "What we need are 5 glasses, 1/10th the size." The Angry Drunk Bureaucrat says: "Where's my damned bourbon?"