The Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: O'Connor Announces Board Appointments; ADB's Nomination Obviously Lost in the Mail

The Rules of Bureaucracy

Rule #O: "The Rules of Bureaucracy are mutable, non-canonical, non-ordinal, and contradictory, except in the cases where they are not."
Rule #1: "Document everything you do; if you didn't write it down, it didn't happen."
Rule #2 [The Sixty Minutes Rule]: "Never do anything that would cause Ed Bradley, Mike Wallace, Morley Safer, Steve Croft, Leslie Stahl, or even Andy Rooney to persue you down a hallway with a camera crew."
Rule #3: "Nothing Simple is Ever Easy"
Rule #4: "It's about the money; follow the money."
Rule #5: "Never ascribe to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.
Rule #6: "Politics is the enemy of good government."
Rule #7: "The biggest detriment to public service is the public."
Rule #8: "The second biggest detriment to public service is the service."
Rule #9: "There's a reason; there's ALWAYS a reason."
Rule #10: "The Law is a harsh mistress: The rigorous and exacting application of which can benefit of society when used correctly to advance good policy and block bad, and be the bane of society when used incorrectly to advance bad policy and block good."
Rule #11: "Public service often involves waking up in the morning, opening up the newspaper, and discovering that someone, somewhere out there thinks that you're a dickhead."
Rule #12: "No one really knows what you do."
Rule #13 [Luke's Rule]: "No one ever acts like the bastard they really are."
Rule #14: "Bureaucracy endures."
Rule #15: "The longer you work in bureaucracy, the more Catch-22 resembles non-fiction."
Rule #16: "Politicians are not smarter than you."
Rule #18: "Money is not created equal."
Rule #19: "Mediocrity is normalcy."
Rule #17: "Within any bureaucratic structure, resources (e.g. people, money, knowledge, etc.) are not distributed uniformly."
Rule #20: "Don't assume a fiduciary liability without a committed resource allocation."
Rule #21: "If you do your job and obey the law, they can't reasonably fire you."
Rule #22: "The Budget will always be wrong."
Rule #23: "Always sign in blue."
Rule #24: "A Bureaucrat must be able to explain and justify his/her actions to laymen without resorting to the phrase 'because the Rules say so.'"
Rule #25: "Never voluntarily relinquish control of an original document."
Rule #26: "Sometimes you just have to say 'Screw the rules'"
Rule #27: "Change sucks."
Rule #28: "Sometimes the answer is 'No.'"
Rule #29: "It is very easy to make difficult decisions when no one has a clue what's going on."
Rule #30: "If you hang around long enough, eventually you will become an expert in something."
Rule #31: "Data, technology, and automatic processes can never completely supplant human interaction."
Rule #32: "Cover thine own ass."
Rule #33: "It's not real until it has its own acronym."
Rule #34:There is nothing more dangerous than an elected, resourceful idiot.
Rule #35: It will always take longer than expected.
Rule #36: Coming Soon...

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

O'Connor Announces Board Appointments; ADB's Nomination Obviously Lost in the Mail

Sufficite it to say, yours truly was not among those nominated by the O'Connor administration to sit on any of the more powerful boards & commissions. That's OK as I am still holding out for a seat on the Commission on Naming Public Places.

Interesting notes:

(1) Michael S. Jasper, who was appointed to the Parking Authority Board, sits on the Community Advisory Board for WQED Mulitmedia, the former home of now Mayoral Chief of Staff B. J. Leber.

(2) Developer William Rudolph replaces Dr. David Epperson, former dean of the University of Pittsburgh School of Social Work on the URA board. Interesting exchange there: social worker for developer.

(3) City Executive Director of Intergovernmental Relations Dennis J. Regan has been nominated to the Housing Authority board, to replace outgoing fiesty Chairman Gerald Voros.

(4) Wrenna L. Watson, who was nominated to the Zoning Board of Adjustments, was an also-ran in this past election for Common Pleas Judge, although she did secure the 4th slot in the Democratic party endorsement.

(5) I don't know much about the other appointment to Parking Authority Board, Linda Judson... although she pops up a couple times in Post Gazette Seen columns.

Mr. O'Connor: I am still available for the Commission on Naming Public Places.

[Hint HINT!]

The Angry Drunk Bureaucrat

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Tuesday, February 07, 2006

O'Connor Announces Board Appointments; ADB's Nomination Obviously Lost in the Mail

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