Wednesday, May 23, 2007

An Open Letter to Luke Ravenstahl

Dear Mr. Mayor,

Your recent "Welcome Back" email to Councilman Shields has gotten those of us in the Pittsburgh Virtual Punditocracy all in a titter. Many of my colleagues have cast aspersions on your actions, calling them the "act of a political novice," "a poorly timed and not-at-all well thought action," and even "a petty and vindictive stunt." Indeed, writing ones personal thoughts down and transmitting them via an easily forwardable medium seems a tad bit dumb.

Unlike some of those in the Burghosphere, however, I say "good on ya!" Your Shields epistle will hang on my office wall as a monument to the glories of sarcasm.

It is refreshing to hear the satiric irony of a Generation Xer in governmental correspondence. So often do we see politicians say one thing but do another, but it is very rare that a politician uses verbal irony to actually say one thing but mean something completely different. I'm glad that this method of communication, made popular by semi-talented AirAmerica host Janeane Garofalo, has finally reached the upper echelons of a City of the Second Class in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania.

Now, there will probably be those out there that will call on you to apologize to the City Council President turned City Controller Candidate turned back to City Council President, but those are calls that you should ignore, like the calls from your wife while you're at the strip club blitzed out of your mind on coke. We have recently had too many politicians and other celebrities doing stupid things and then recanting, retracting, or otherwise apologizing for their actions. This is a tragedy in an of itself. No one takes responsibility for the stupid shit they do anymore, Mr. Mayor. Nobody.

I say to you, sir: own your stupid shit. To thine own self be true, even to the stupid things that you do. Freely admit that what you do is dumb, and for that you came.

In fact, Mr. Mayor, if I may be so bold, with all these stupid, off handed actions and this new found sarcastic condescension towards others, you too could be a Pittsburgh blogger. You should ask Jim Motznik about that; he'll hook you up.


The Angry Drunk Bureaucrat

P.S. While I do appreciate your usage of dependant and independent clauses, and your overuse of commas, you never, ever, ever begin a sentence with "And." That's just poor grammar right there.


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