Residency Evil

Those of you that worship at the altar of KDKA Investigative Reporter Marty Griffin (Official Latin Inscription: Faciem durum cacantis habes) will have already heard that over 100 city employees may be fired for not adhering to the City's residency requirement. From the P-G:

City workers are likely to receive a letter to that effect at their home addresses as per city payroll records today or tomorrow.

The letter reiterates the requirement that all city workers live in the city, and requires no action by the recipient. If the letter is returned to the city unopened, the city may initiate an investigation.

"It is not acceptable to have a house, apartment or room in the City where you pretend to live while the rest of your family lives outside of the City. Merely receiving mail, signing a lease or paying utility bills for a property in the City does not satisfy the domicile requirement," the letter reads in part.

Of course, there is an easy solution to this problem. It is not the mass firing of City employees. It is not enforcing the residency requirements. It is a solution that is often overlooked by the small minds in local government:

The City of Pittsburgh must invade and conquer all of its neighbors, crush its enemies, see them driven before their cities, and hear the lamentation of the women.

Not only must Mt. Oliver must be destroyed utterly, but so to should Monroeville, Cranberry and Wilmerding! We will crush them, bringing back our native population under the wing of a Greater Pittsburgh Reich.

I can only see us being greeted as liberators.

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Of course, the invasion talk doesn't matter to me; I live in Des Moines, IA.

Tag(s): Pittsburgh