Officials, Hill Reach Agreement on CBA

Thirty-eight hours into a marathon negotiating session, representatives of the City, County, Penguins, and the One Hill Coalition announced that they have reached an agreement relating to the proposed community development agreement which will outline the development of the area around the new arena.

One Hill Chairman Carl Redwood, in a prepared statement, said "we are happy to report a major break through that, we hope, will result in a deal that will be better for the entire Hill District. Truly, this is a momentous day for our community."

Details of the agreement have not been publicly released, but a source close to the negotiation, who agreed to speak on condition of anonymity, says that the groups have agreed on "two large pizzas, one with pepperoni, one cheese, one medium pizza with peppers and olives, an order of crazy bread, and four liters of pop, to be determined." This agreement marks the first common ground reached between the disparate parties.

The substance of the negotiation has been confirmed by several other sources: Ravenstahl's initial offer to the group was Chinese, which was backed by Onorato. This was soundly rejected by One Hill who complained that they "just get hungry an hour later."

One Hill countered with Indian, but negotiators representing the Lemieux Group said this was impossible due to their acid reflux. The Mayor's Office said that the group could order "a three or four", but the Lemieux Group remained adamant that without their medication, Indian was impossible.

Ravenstahl suggested fried chicken, which was immediately met with cries of racism by residents of the Hill, who suggested that maybe the mayor would like bologna on Wonder Bread instead. Both suggestions were immediately withdrawn with appropriate apologies exchanged.

After 27 hours of negotiations, Dan Onorato suggested pizza, an idea that was met with general approval from the room. The remaining eleven hours were devoted to toppings, with Ravenstahl's suggestion of "ham and pineapple" rejected during the first round. The group quickly reached consensus that anchovies were unacceptable, although Lemieux pressed for cheese curds and gravy for several hours.

The decision will be ratified by the full One Hill Coalition ahead of Monday's planning commission meeting, although some other members say they will protest the vote saying that the agreement does not represent the true needs of Hill: tapas.

The food will be brought to a planning meeting for the outlining of a timeline to plan for meetings at which the agenda for the Community Benefits Agreement will be discussed.