Detroit (Reuters) - The race for the Democratic Party presidential nomination was turned on its head Tuesday night when darkhorse candidate Uncommitted placed a surprising second in the Michigan Primary.
Speaking in front of supporters in his downtown Detroit campaign headquarters, Uncommitted said he was proud of the results of the vote.
"I came to Michigan with the belief that the voters here were Uncommitted voters, and Uncommitted Voters you are. I promise you that we may or may not continue this campaign right on to the general election... or not, I'm not quite sure."
Uncommitted came in behind Hillary Clinton by 3 percentage points, but bested nearest competitor Montana Representative Frank Akickintheass by over 10 points.
Other more well known candidates including Barak Obama and John Edwards, chose not to participate in the primary because of a conflict between the Democratic National Committee and the state government. The DNC has said that it will not seat the state delegates of the winner of the Michigan primary.
Uncommitted remained undeterred:
"We will take this fight to South Carolina, and maybe New Mexico, and possibly Nevada, and perhaps, if we get around to it, New York, and then, if we don't have better things to do, because, you know, we have our cousin Cindy's wedding coming up and our Mother would kill us if we missed it like we did my uncle Larry's, but you know it was his third marriage and, we're all, like, 'Mom, his wife's barely old enough to drink and you know that she just wants him for the Corvette in the garage,' the White House!"
Uncommitted's next biggest primary challenge is in Florida, which may or may not have voted substantially for him in the 2000 General Election.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Uncommitted Places 2nd in Michigan Primary
Posted by O at 11:30 PM
Filed Under: Election 2008, Satire
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