Wednesday, April 08, 2009

An Open Letter to Winter

Dear Winter,

What. The. Fuck.

I mean, seriously man, I thought we had a deal: you'd leave me alone for the next six months or so, maybe pop off to visit some friends in Australia or something, and I would spend some time trying to meet other people. But here you are, once again showing up on my doorstep unannounced, screaming at the top of your lungs that you love me and want me back.

You're crushing me and I can't deal with it any longer.

You see, I've met another season. It's filling my life with sun and flowers and little birds, and, frankly that's what I need after six months of your brutal dreariness and icy demeanor. I just can't take any of you dark negativity right now, and I need just a little bit more sunshine and warmth. I don't need any more of your childish drama.

You can take back the snowmen and the ice; I don't really have a use for them right now. I'm keeping the hot cocoa and the sweaters though.

Look, maybe we can still be friends at some point inthe future, but for right now I need you out of my life. I hope you understand and can be happy for me.

And if you don't leave I'm calling the fucking police.

Sincerely,

O
The Angry Drunk Bureaucrat

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

OMG...I am so tired of winter...somewhere the sunshine has to take over. It is good vs evil.

Sherry said...

a perfect letter to a perfectly awful season!