I'm not keen on this whole "family friendly" St. Patrick's Day thing the City is trying to foist on us.
Frankly, my family is a whole lot friendlier after about a fifth of whisky.
The Optimist says: "The Glass is Half Full." The Pessimist says: "The Glass is Half Empty." The Bureaucrat says: "What we need are 5 glasses, 1/10th the size." The Angry Drunk Bureaucrat says: "Where's my damned bourbon?"