The Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Whither Pat Ford?

The Rules of Bureaucracy

Rule #O: "The Rules of Bureaucracy are mutable, non-canonical, non-ordinal, and contradictory, except in the cases where they are not."
Rule #1: "Document everything you do; if you didn't write it down, it didn't happen."
Rule #2 [The Sixty Minutes Rule]: "Never do anything that would cause Ed Bradley, Mike Wallace, Morley Safer, Steve Croft, Leslie Stahl, or even Andy Rooney to persue you down a hallway with a camera crew."
Rule #3: "Nothing Simple is Ever Easy"
Rule #4: "It's about the money; follow the money."
Rule #5: "Never ascribe to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.
Rule #6: "Politics is the enemy of good government."
Rule #7: "The biggest detriment to public service is the public."
Rule #8: "The second biggest detriment to public service is the service."
Rule #9: "There's a reason; there's ALWAYS a reason."
Rule #10: "The Law is a harsh mistress: The rigorous and exacting application of which can benefit of society when used correctly to advance good policy and block bad, and be the bane of society when used incorrectly to advance bad policy and block good."
Rule #11: "Public service often involves waking up in the morning, opening up the newspaper, and discovering that someone, somewhere out there thinks that you're a dickhead."
Rule #12: "No one really knows what you do."
Rule #13 [Luke's Rule]: "No one ever acts like the bastard they really are."
Rule #14: "Bureaucracy endures."
Rule #15: "The longer you work in bureaucracy, the more Catch-22 resembles non-fiction."
Rule #16: "Politicians are not smarter than you."
Rule #18: "Money is not created equal."
Rule #19: "Mediocrity is normalcy."
Rule #17: "Within any bureaucratic structure, resources (e.g. people, money, knowledge, etc.) are not distributed uniformly."
Rule #20: "Don't assume a fiduciary liability without a committed resource allocation."
Rule #21: "If you do your job and obey the law, they can't reasonably fire you."
Rule #22: "The Budget will always be wrong."
Rule #23: "Always sign in blue."
Rule #24: "A Bureaucrat must be able to explain and justify his/her actions to laymen without resorting to the phrase 'because the Rules say so.'"
Rule #25: "Never voluntarily relinquish control of an original document."
Rule #26: "Sometimes you just have to say 'Screw the rules'"
Rule #27: "Change sucks."
Rule #28: "Sometimes the answer is 'No.'"
Rule #29: "It is very easy to make difficult decisions when no one has a clue what's going on."
Rule #30: "If you hang around long enough, eventually you will become an expert in something."
Rule #31: "Data, technology, and automatic processes can never completely supplant human interaction."
Rule #32: "Cover thine own ass."
Rule #33: "It's not real until it has its own acronym."
Rule #34:There is nothing more dangerous than an elected, resourceful idiot.
Rule #35: It will always take longer than expected.
Rule #36: Coming Soon...

Saturday, March 07, 2009

Whither Pat Ford?

Found him:

From our friends in Hancock OH:

A new executive director of the Business Development Corporation of the Northern Panhandle (BDC) was introduced at Thursday's Hancock County Commission meeting.

Patrick Ford, who hails from Hardy County in West Virginia's eastern panhandle, stated that he is looking forward to his new position as executive director.

Best line in the article:

BDC Chairman William D'Alesio stated that the BDC Board feels "fortunate to have been able to attract someone with the education, background, and record of success" that Ford has demonstrated.

I don't know if "success" is the word you're looking for, Bill; "suc-" something, but not "-cess".

No word if Mr. Ford will be paid in stereo equipment.

---
h/t to "Energy Expert" who passed this along.

5 comments:

Bram Reichbaum said...: The Business Development Corporation of the Northern Panhandle of West Virginia. Sounds great.

My guess had been that he might have been back to smoothing the way for Corridor H, a highway project in WV. I suppose his old mission could be synergistic with the new one.

Does anybody know if they have zoning ordinances in West Virginia?; 7:30 PM
Lady Elaine said...: Whoa, srsly? Sounds like a friends did him a favor, perhaps?; 7:47 PM
Anonymous said...: "Does anybody know if they have zoning ordinances in West Virginia?" ordinances smordinances, zoning? codes? none of that ever meant anything to Pat Ford.; 10:20 PM
Burgher Jon said...: It was a tight decision in the end, came down to Business Development Coproration of the Northern Panhandle OR Assistant to the President of Development and Relocation for Shady Shady Retirement Home. I agree he probably had to call in a favor to get the former. He's qualified to work in public service like Pete Rose is qualified to coach baseball... sure he's qualified BUT...; 8:29 AM
Anonymous said...: Does anyone know what did this fine gentleman exactly do in Hardy County and where else in WV (or FL, VA and MD) did he work? And, well, any stories of "unofficial" payments and bonuses are much appreciated.; 5:41 PM

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Saturday, March 07, 2009

Whither Pat Ford?

5 comments:

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