Team 4 Investigates

"Team 4" (which is like the Superfriends, only made up entirely of Wendy Harris and Gleek) is reporting that there are convicted felons (*gasp*) on the public payroll (*horror*).

Investigative reporter Jim Parsons has been sifting through hundreds of government records to get this story...

Team 4 ran criminal background checks on more than 1,300 city employees. Eighteen of them, it turns out, are convicted felons. So, we requested the job applications for those 18 people...

But let's be fair, Jim Motznik is a judge now.

I kid, your honor.

18 out of 1,300? That's like 1.3%, right? Proportionately, I have more felons in my immediate family.

Of course, then there's this:

Grguras... says he doesn't want to see anyone else get in the same trouble he did for lying. He just wants to get back the heavy equipment operator job he loved for more than 20 years.

"You get up in the morning and you have a thrill to go to work. You got the best job in the world. When you're a little kid, you dream of running the big machines, and I had the big toys."

Unless you can show me a kid that dreams of being on a Public Works crew, that sounds like perjury right there.

Unless you're just using DPW to get to a council seat.

I kid, your honor.