Details of Transit Pact Released

From the good folks over at the P-G:

A tentative agreement between the Port Authority and the union representing bus-trolley workers largely mirrors recommendations made in August by a state-appointed fact-finder.

But it's a four-year contract, instead of three, and provides fully paid, lifetime health-care benefits for a number of employees who, because of their age and years of service, were caught in the middle and would have been forced to work longer or pay their own premiums...

The tentative agreement calls for Local 85 members to incrementally increase their contributions for health, prescription, vision and dental insurance from the current 1 percent to 3 percent of base wages, the same as non-union employees at the authority already pay.

The agreement also calls for wage increase of 3, 2, 3 and 3 percent, respectively, for each of the four years, ultimately raising hourly pay to more than $26 an hour for bus-trolley operators and more than $30 an hour for first-level supervisors...

Union members will be allowed to yell at particular rowdy passengers, passengers that talk too loudly on their cell phones, and passengers that won't move to the back of the bus.

Management will be allowed continue to waste money on useless capital projects, including, but not limited to the North Shore Connector, a parking garage on the top of the US Steel Building, and an incline that only goes down.

Drivers will be encouraged, but not mandated, to be surly and brusque. Senior drivers will be permitted to remain completely silent or mumble inaudibly when asked questions...

Routes will be cut within five years to the point where buses will only run between Downtown, Oakland, Squirrel Hill, and between 12th and 17th Street on Carson Street.

The 54C will change routes and time points randomly and without warning. Anyone who actually manages to catch one of these buses will be removed and made to walk.

All union members will be allowed one free kick to Steve Bland's crotch once a year, growing to twice a year within five years...

And finally, Dan Onorato will be made to shut up until his run for Governor.

Neither authority Chief Executive Officer Steve Bland nor Local 85 President-Business Agent Patrick McMahon returned calls seeking comment today.