The Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Business Casual Saturday

The Rules of Bureaucracy

Rule #O: "The Rules of Bureaucracy are mutable, non-canonical, non-ordinal, and contradictory, except in the cases where they are not."
Rule #1: "Document everything you do; if you didn't write it down, it didn't happen."
Rule #2 [The Sixty Minutes Rule]: "Never do anything that would cause Ed Bradley, Mike Wallace, Morley Safer, Steve Croft, Leslie Stahl, or even Andy Rooney to persue you down a hallway with a camera crew."
Rule #3: "Nothing Simple is Ever Easy"
Rule #4: "It's about the money; follow the money."
Rule #5: "Never ascribe to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.
Rule #6: "Politics is the enemy of good government."
Rule #7: "The biggest detriment to public service is the public."
Rule #8: "The second biggest detriment to public service is the service."
Rule #9: "There's a reason; there's ALWAYS a reason."
Rule #10: "The Law is a harsh mistress: The rigorous and exacting application of which can benefit of society when used correctly to advance good policy and block bad, and be the bane of society when used incorrectly to advance bad policy and block good."
Rule #11: "Public service often involves waking up in the morning, opening up the newspaper, and discovering that someone, somewhere out there thinks that you're a dickhead."
Rule #12: "No one really knows what you do."
Rule #13 [Luke's Rule]: "No one ever acts like the bastard they really are."
Rule #14: "Bureaucracy endures."
Rule #15: "The longer you work in bureaucracy, the more Catch-22 resembles non-fiction."
Rule #16: "Politicians are not smarter than you."
Rule #18: "Money is not created equal."
Rule #19: "Mediocrity is normalcy."
Rule #17: "Within any bureaucratic structure, resources (e.g. people, money, knowledge, etc.) are not distributed uniformly."
Rule #20: "Don't assume a fiduciary liability without a committed resource allocation."
Rule #21: "If you do your job and obey the law, they can't reasonably fire you."
Rule #22: "The Budget will always be wrong."
Rule #23: "Always sign in blue."
Rule #24: "A Bureaucrat must be able to explain and justify his/her actions to laymen without resorting to the phrase 'because the Rules say so.'"
Rule #25: "Never voluntarily relinquish control of an original document."
Rule #26: "Sometimes you just have to say 'Screw the rules'"
Rule #27: "Change sucks."
Rule #28: "Sometimes the answer is 'No.'"
Rule #29: "It is very easy to make difficult decisions when no one has a clue what's going on."
Rule #30: "If you hang around long enough, eventually you will become an expert in something."
Rule #31: "Data, technology, and automatic processes can never completely supplant human interaction."
Rule #32: "Cover thine own ass."
Rule #33: "It's not real until it has its own acronym."
Rule #34:There is nothing more dangerous than an elected, resourceful idiot.
Rule #35: It will always take longer than expected.
Rule #36: Coming Soon...

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Business Casual Saturday

For all of you damned Gen X whippersnappers and who those of you that don't have a clue about what all the hubbub was down in D.C.:

8 comments:

Anonymous said...: On an unrelated note, I'm dying to read your take on this:

http://post-gazette.com/pg/09045/949265-100.stm; 5:57 PM
Anonymous said...: Best Blog in Pixburgh

"Bud Light with Lime for all...and an aged Burbon for the Angry Drunk Bereaucrat."

monk; 5:10 PM
Anonymous said...: Surprised Jeff Did not "kick" towel dispenser...

http://post-gazette.com/pg/09045/949265-100.stm

monk; 5:39 PM
Nick's Blog n@ said...: Don't forget Gen Y! I remember this School House Rock video from school :-); 10:47 PM
Sherry Pasquarello said...: oh i love this! always did. i think they should put them back on t.v.

maybe prime time too!; 8:41 AM
Anonymous said...: Copy and paste into search bar....rookies!

http://video.aol.com/video-detail/johnny-cash-and-the-carter-family/1196256961; 4:09 PM
Anonymous said...: http://video.aol.com/video-detail/johnny-cash-and-the-carter-family/1196256961

use 'yahoo search bar'...aol and google do not recognize; 4:27 PM
Jason Togyer said...: Hey, it's one of those campy '70s throwbacks, designed to appeal to Generation X-ers!

"I'm an amendment to be, I said amendment to be,
And I'm hopin' that they'll ratify me.
There's a lot of flag-burners
Who have got too much freedom:
I wanna make it legal for policemen to beat 'em,
For there's limits to our liberty,
At least I hope and pray that there are,
'Cause these liberal freaks go too far."

Geez, remember when The Simpsons was still funny?; 8:55 PM

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Saturday, February 14, 2009

Business Casual Saturday

8 comments:

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